Dear The Black Eyed Peas...

Although, I'm sure you do 'gotta feeling' that 'tonight's going to be a good night', be prepared for such disappointments as:

1. Upon arriving at 'da club' and having your first drink, it immediately spills on your nice outfits.
2. People not realizing this is actually your song, as it bears little stylistic resemblance to any previous musical output from your band.
3. Ending the night alone, crying into a Manhattan cocktail while simultaneously micturating and reading an article about yourself in Vibe magazine.